Candy, Perfectionism and Quick Weight Loss in San Jose

Let's talk about perfectionism and quick weight loss because over Thanksgiving break I heard this:

"If I eat after 8pm I'll gain weight."

We had about 15 people over and later on in the evening everyone was relaxing. A few people were playing board games while the others were sitting and chatting over wine.

At about 8pm someone mentioned dessert. And I couldn't help but hear an offhand comment:

"If I eat after 8pm I'll gain weight."

It was an offhand comment. She probably wasn't serious. She might've not even known she spoke it aloud.

I didn't say anything to her about it.

But I thought about it.

First, is this statement true or false? Does eating late in the evening cause you to gain weight?

It. Doesn't. Matter. Don't even evaluate this statement. Just stop. Because ...

This statement sets you up for the trap of perfectionism.

Notice how this is an if-then statement?

If you eat evening the evening, then you will gain weight.

See, perfectionism statements are black-and-white statements.

And usually the stakes are very high.

Like here ... you will gain weight. This is written and spoken like if someone said 'she has cancer.'

Is cancer really the same equivalent as eating after 8pm? Hell no.

And yet you do this all the time - food rules

I guarantee you you have food rules.

I do.

Food rules are natural.

Your mind naturally places things into categories and wants everything to be nice and neat and easy to understand.

Ahhhhh. Wouldn't life be wonderful if it was nice and neat and easy to understand?

The real issue isn't food rules.

The core dilemma is not being aware of your food rules and letting them dictate how you feel about yourself.

The problem is when you fail - perfectionism.

When you have a black-and-white food rule, then you when you fail...

Perfectionism gives your shame voice an opening to attack you.

Your shame voice is:

• the sense of failure you have
• the guilt you have over being lazy or lacking discipline

And this shame voice can erupt when you view yourself as failing an important rule.

And if you want another article on Perfectionism and Weight Loss, check out this piece here by Prevention.com.

Here's the key

Okay.

Be wary whenever someone says they have THE ANSWER.

Or, in this case, the key.

But this is a little helpful hint so get you started ...

Add in after your food rules For The Most Part.

In the example above ...

If I eat after 8pm then I'll gain weight - for the most part.

This little phrase does a couple things that are appropriate for this post.

First, we aren't changing your beliefs in this blog article alone. No, that's for a serious conversation.

Second, this gives you total permission to keep your rules and to not think too hard about whether or not your rules are 'right or wrong'.

All this simply does is give your rules some more flexibility.

With this little shift in perspective, you can prevent yourself from being attacked by your perfectionism which is simply seeking quick weight loss!

Check out this episode!