Accepting
Responsibility for Your Happiness
I
am a whole lot happier than I used to be; my outlook has brightened, relations
with my family have strengthened, and I am more able to accept what life throws
at me. I am able to be Jared and be OK with that.
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Courage
It
takes tremendous courage to accept responsibility for your unhappiness. For admitting
unhappiness, in American society, is admitting failure. And if you admit
failure you are forced to change. If you have been living your life a certain
way and it hasn’t been working, if you admit that, then you must change. You
are forced to change your routine, you are forced to try something new, you are forced to go into the unknown. Any
significant change is difficult and scary - you know this, just as well as I
do. Real change comes slowly and only at the expense of great effort. It is
confusing and hopeless at times and one will
fall down and one will get hurt. Yet, only real change will make
you happier. No gimmicks, no shortcuts, no diets, no fads.
(Disclaimer)
You’ll
need the help others and you’ll need to help others. You’ll need to seek out
advice and become humble. You’ll need to fail (a lot) and keep on going. And
you’ll need some luck, but don’t worry about that, you’ll find plenty of luck
along the way.
My
luck
I was lucky when I found a book about Zen
meditation - I just stumbled upon it at a bookstore. I was actually going to
buy a different book but last second decided I didn’t want it. My life might’ve
been much different had I just bought that book instead. Weird how these things
work! Zen and meditation clicked with me, I don’t really know why. Something
deep in my heart intuitively responded to it. When I try to go into more detail
I always end up sounding silly. I just like Zen because I like Zen! But that’s
not to say Zen and meditation will click with you. You have your own path and
it’s OK for our paths to be different.
So
anyways, I began sitting (meditating). And when I say I began sitting I mean
this in the sense that I consistently
began sitting - every morning and most evenings. I would also try my best to be
mindful during the day. I remember being unpleasantly surprised when I heard I
had to practice mindfulness during the day. I had thought that if I meditated
once in the morning and evening my life would magically get better – I didn’t
want to have to ‘be mindful’ during the day as well!
Meditating
is like eating healthy – if you don’t eat healthy on a regular basis you won’t
experience the benefits of health. Likewise, if you don’t meditate regularly
and apply mindfulness to your life you also won’t experience the benefits
meditation!
The
results
After
some time had gone by, 3-5 months or so, I began noticing I was interacting
with the external world in a slightly manner. Nothing major – just little
things: I would catch myself reaching for a cookie and put it down and eat
something else instead. I would turn off the TV and go to bed a little earlier.
I would sit up more at my work instead of slouching. I cleaned my room. Just
little things - but little things add up and become big things.
Today,
I still am learning and continuing to grow. I am more accepting of my
introverted qualities and quirky habits. I’ve found I like smiling at people.
It’s quite fun J
(Disclaimer
2)
There’s a saying that meditation changes nothing and changes
everything. Your problems aren’t going to go away by meditating. But you will
relate to them differently. You are still going to die and be forgotten but
maybe you’ll find yourself to be more Ok with that. You’ll still be you. Nothing
magical. Sorry to break it to you.
If
you’re wondering how meditation works, a good way to explain the process is this
quote attributed to Buddha:
Meditation works
by enabling one to become aware of their habitual thought patterns. Once one
becomes aware of their habitual thought patterns they become less identified in
thought, more free from mental chatter, more open to the present moment.
My advice
Don’t
you try to change who you are. Work slowly day after day, one step at time.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew. When I began meditating I was very
consistent but I only started off with ten minutes. And follow your gut
instinct. Meditation worked well for
me but who knows what will click for you.
I
wish you the best. May the force be with you. Seriously.
Jared Levenson
Dontwastethislife.blogspot.com
2 comments:
Jared, I enjoyed your blog post and I also wanted to thank you for sharing your mindful eating information with my readers at Food Stories. I really liked the piece and feel like the readers connected with your words.
Why thanks CJ, I'm just starting to get into blogging, and guest blogging seemed like a good option to try out. Thanks for being so responsive and easy-going. I can tell you are a good writer!
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