The alchemist theme: you have dreams yet for some reason those dreams are impossible. For me my dream is to go Japan. Yet I have many obstacles. Just one-way tickets are very expensive and I need a return one and possibly another. How do I get a visa? I’ll call the Japanese consulate tomorrow. I need to be at Antaiji by March 26th, 2013. Less than a year from now. I will need to have a full school schedule in order to graduate early march. Late march I’ll travel to Japan for 90 days then skipping between countries till I return to Japan for more 3 years. It would be so much easier to go a Zen monastery in California. I would know the language for starters. Didn’t Dogen say there is no need to leave the home or look abroad? I was about to choose the California route. Just now as I write these words I almost took the California route. But I remembered the alchemist theme: dreams always seem ridiculous, always seem too difficult, yet life passes by quickly and losing dreams becomes habit. Just as the book got me started on this whole journey, its lesson influenced me at a major crossroads. How fitting.
P.S. The psychologist in me is saying no what way I choose I will find a way to thrive, learn, and grow. It’d make an awesome story too. But wait, then am I only doing this for egotistical reasons? Maybe I should back out. Nah, I’ll just do it anyways.
*I wrote the above and waited. I’m definitely going to pursue the “zen path” for a few years after college. I still lean towards Japan.